Chapter Six

The next few days moved about in a steady pace, a near continuous motion that reminding Nate of the concept of a locomotive. A slow blur of unstopped and unopposed motion that kept going right on ahead, whether he wanted it to or not. Going until it arrived at wherever its scheduled destination was to be arrived at. All he could do was to carry all the luggage with him that he could, and little else.

Taking the dog for a walk, about an hour or so at the park each day did Nate some good. Rather it did him a lot of good. Getting him up and out of the house and out into the world for small slices of time. The walls at home had begun to feel closer and tighter around him each morning, creeping nearer whenever he wasn’t watching them closely enough. That and the growing concern that the paint on the walls had started to look like a different color each morning. Not a stark change, like Margo’s now soft cornflower blue collar, but just a different shade of the same color. It was enough to make him need the walks, getting out of the house was more than enough to feel better about going crazy.

He and Margo returned home, her all tuckered out from playing in the fenced-in dog playground area, and he, just plain tired overall. And after a short nap, he’d wake up and watch some tv or play a little on the guitar outside. More so for the time to reminisce than to improve. He knew that he would be unlikely to improve. Remembering all of the little moments, wisps of instances that slipped in and out focus, like water over and through his fingers, that too, was more than enough to feel better.

Next morning started like the day before it, Margo needed to go outside for her urgent business matters, and her collar was both a different color and shape again. Now a deep greenish light blue that it certainly wasn’t before, and now with silver streaks that contrasted beautifully against her silky shiny golden fur. Nate grumbled to himself when he saw it, and decided to do something different about it. Something he would not have dared to have done if it had just been a normal day, with no noticeable changes to irk and bother at him. He made a phone call.

Julie answered after the second ring. “Hello?” he could hear her ask into the brief silence of the phone’s receiver.

“Julie? Hey, It’s Nate.”

“Hey, Nate. What’s going on?”, Julie’s voice asked of him. She sounded both tired and confused.

Nate felt he should be nervous, though he wasn’t, and that surprised him more than anything else when he asked her, “I was wondering if you wanted to go to the beach with Margo and me in a bit?”

There was a soft static filled silence that lasted for only the briefest of moments, “You know what? I would love to. Which beach you thinking? Oh, never mind, it doesn’t matter. Text me which one and I’ll meet you there in a bit. I still need to get some coffee in me first, and shower, and- just text me, I’ll see you soon. Bye!” She had hung up before he could ask her anything else.

The was a beach on the eastern side of town that he hadn’t been to in years. Nate looked up the address and sent it to Julie. She sent a thumbs up emoji back in reply.

“Ready for an adventure, pup?” Margo not fully understanding him, barked back and smiled her puppy smile. “Figured you’d be happy about it. Gonna take you on a trip. Not sure if you like sand or not? But, I’m sure you’ll be happy either way.

He packed a small cooler full with water and some snacks. Then he carried the cooler out to the trunk of his car. When he walked back inside, he grabbed Margo’s leash. Green today. It was yellow before…right?

“Ready, pup? Yes, yes. Relax for a second so I can, just, there we go. Alright, let’s get you to the car. Come on.”

The traffic to the beach was light and uneventful. Margo lay curled up in the backseat, she had been watching the road with excitement, for the beginning portion of the drive. After the fourth song came on the radio however, she had by then grown bored with the passing scenery and decided it was best to lay down instead, and she did just that. All with a disinterested look on her fuzzy face. Nate drummed his fingers against the wheel as he drove, watching the city change itself the farther from home they went. A couple of fast-food places and restaurants littered the sides of the road every couple of blocks. Mixed in for good measure were a series of gas stations, and a supermarket or three each two mile interval.

He ignored the new supermarket that he didn’t know had been build. He hadn’t known of any major construction project lately either. Nor did it really matter, he decided. The changes didn’t really matter. If anything, they were all simply in his head.

This area of their wide town had a comfortable feeling to it that made Nate feel at ease, despite hating the beachfront area with every fibrous portion of his mortal being. All of the small roads, and the people riding on bicycles that hogged the same said roads, all of this felt peaceful. Despite all of the minute things this place had, all of it, made him happy in a twisted way. Everything in this part of the city looked, more so or less the same as it had been when he was a child. He didn’t know any of the street names, nor did he plan to start memorizing them now. It was a beautiful mess of infrastructure that shifted and morphed itself into a self-contained ecosystem that he found beautiful and messy. Almost to the point of becoming a tacky staple if anything else.

Countless cookouts had occurred along the beachfront. His family went there once or twice a month for most of his childhood, his aunt especially loved this place. She would socialize with everyone in sight for hours on end, before she would silently slip away when no one was watching her. Nate had always been the one to find her sometime later, staring off and out into the ocean, watching the clouds that were lit up by the backdrop of the setting sun.

His aunt had once told him that, “The orange and purple hues were the most peaceful part of the beautifully polluted sky.”

He parked the car and stretched before waking Margo up. “Come on, pup.” She stumbled out of the car and yawned at him. All before wagging her tail and looking around in soft confusion.

A warm breeze washed itself over them. Margo barked at a dog that someone was walking nearby, the person waved and told them, “Good morning.” Before continuing on uninterrupted. Nate tightened his grip on Margo’s leash; he told her to let them be. “It’s too early to start barking at people, pup. Come on. I don’t want you to get spurs in your fur, or your paws. Up, up. Oof. Alright. Stop wiggling so much,” the medium sized dog was relatively light in his arms. She was mostly a mess of warm fur and energy; underneath all of that Margo was really just a big puppy. He carried her across the beginning section of the beach area. The ground was littered with fallen spurs from the nearby pine trees. Each one acting as a caltrop for unsuspecting victims that ran without shoes or flipflops.

Margo wiggled against his chest, trying to gain a better view of her surroundings. He felt her weight relax itself against him once they got out of the tree covered section. Wanning pine needles on the ground turned into coarse dirt, that then became soft sand the further out they went. Along the dunes small tuffs of balding grass, peeked out wherever they were able to rise up high enough to get sunlight to survive.

Nate ignored the small wooden sign welcoming him to the beach. He was busy dealing with Margo who had begun to squirm in his arms again, making herself feel heavier than she really was. “Fine. Fine! Down you go, pups. Wanna run? Okay, let’s run for a bit.”

Nate set her down and jogged into the crusting edges of the ocean, letting the cold water splash over his sandals. He felt the water inspect him indifferently before slipping away again. Margo lunged into the chopping waves, galloping in and out of them in obvious excitement. Nate couldn’t himself but to laugh at her. She was so, just happy to be there. It was beyond ridiculous how happy she was to see and play in the ocean.

“Margo! Come on, pup. This way!” He gestured and waved for her attention. She splashed her way over to him once he had her focus, and she followed along as they walked the shoreline. She’d charge in at the waves, and chase after a bird or two that landed on the sand, as they walked along for a bit. It was a little while before Nate heard Julie calling over to him.

“Nate! Hey, Nate!”, she yelled, catching the golden blur’s attention before his own. Nate waved and walked over, letting the dog overtake him in boundless strides to leap on Julie. A wet mass of fur and groggy clumps of dirty sand.

“Ow! Ow! Good to see you too, puppy-girl. You’re such a good dog! I just wanna bring you home with me and never let you go. You’re so pretty. Yes, yes you are! That’s a good puppy. Okay, that’s enough. Get off me. No, no. Stop it.” Julie laughed and giggled as Margo smothered her in gross licks and attempts at puppy hugs. “Down, down! Nate, help! Your dog is killing me with cuteness, and in slobbers. She’s slobbering all over me!” She giggled between each word. Scratching and rubbing the dog seemed to settle everything down, albeit a little at a time. “Lot of energy in this one.” Julie kept laughing, she smiled at Nate as they watched Margo walk back out towards the water, a satisfied grin on the puppy’s furry fuzzy face.

“That she does. Find us alright?” Nate asked, doing his best not to eye her swimsuit peeking out of her cutoff jeans and short top. The hot pink color of it was drawing to the eye if one was not careful. Julie smelled like a thick layer of sunscreen, a little was left unrubbed on the very tip of her nose.

“I think so. I recognized your car in the parking lot over there, and figured, hey, I’d look for you before calling. So it worked out. I didn’t look long or anything, the puppy splashing helped you stand out.

“This place is in a little bit of a weird spot. If you didn’t tell me where this was I wouldn’t have known it was here, like at all. The sandhills and trees totally hide all of this from the road,” The breeze from the ocean tossed the looser strands of her hair around her sunglasses as she talked. She’d push them back into place with the back of her hand. She tried using her sunglasses as a makeshift headband but it didn’t catch everything. And so she’d wipe at her eyes, straighten the loose strands of hair again and again, and repeat the process a few minutes later.

Nate tried not to smile, or stare too much for that matter. Julie looked beautiful, and it was very distracting, to say the least. “So that assistant manager, Blue.” Julie started, the sun glared off her sunglasses with a soft radiance, “Who has a color for a name? That’s just a ridiculous thing for anyone to deal with. Anyways, he’s been trying to be the new big dog around the store since you’ve taken an extended leave of absence. The other day, what was it, yesterday? Was it yesterday, or the day before that? Whatever. Doesn’t matter anyways. The other day, he was trying to bully some of the newer people to reorganize the kid’s section because his favorite books weren’t, ‘visible for the kids to find them’, or some stupid reason like that. Then, Carl had to come out of his office and yell at little boy Blue, that he should shut up and do his job. He’s just a temporary replacement and should just do his job, show up-”, she counted it out on her fingers, trying to keep the story organized in her head, “-sell books, push for memberships and subscriptions, and make sure people don’t steal the figurines and backpacks. That’s it! The guy has no real responsibilities that need him to be such, such, such an ass. He just plain sucks. That’s all there is to it.”

“Sounds like everyone misses me there.” Nate watched Margo gallop back to them. Chewing on some food that had been left behind from someone’s unguarded picnic spot in the sand.

“Should we take that from her? Looks like old pizza or something.” Julie asked, watching Nate’s eyes with concern.

He shook his head and smirked, “She’ll just think we’re playing a game. If she shouldn’t eat it, she’d have spat it out by now. Same reason I think she doesn’t dig in the trash.”

“If you say so. And I guess so, by the way. About work I mean. The bookstore hasn’t been as fun without our fearless copilot at the helm. We all miss you at work. Blue man chew is a pain to deal with, other than that,” she thought it over for a moment, “I’d say we’re getting along just fine, all and all. The store is only going to be on fire when you get back anyways. So, no rush, take your time on your minivacation. It’ll be there waiting for you.”

“Not really much of a vacation. It’s not like I’m going anywhere special or exotic even. Just feeling low, little sad, and bumming around. Waiting for bad news to knock on the door..,” Nate trailed off, watching the seagulls drift off overhead, they were hovering just over the water on the warm thermal breeze. They looked to be riding the wind awkwardly, yet never falling down too low. They’d squawk to one another insistently before floating off and away into the distance. Disappearing somewhere over the salty water.

“So, you haven’t heard anything about your aunt yet?” Julie murmured.

“Nothing yet. I’m not expecting to hear much. Just nervous to hear the news. Waiting on it to come has been messing with me though. Getting into my head, I guess.”

“Oh?”

“The walls in my place, or the space itself, it all, just feels so cramped. Been taking the pup on walks and to the park. It helps. Every little thing seems to help. She seems to be enjoying my claustrophobia lately. That, and my leftovers.”

Julie leaned her head onto his shoulder. “I’m sorry you are going through this, Nate. I know it must suck. It has to be awful. But I’m sure it’ll work out. One way or another.”

“I hope so too.”

“It will. Now, where is that dog?”

“Margo! Margo! Oh, there she is. By the trees, minding her own business. And now here she comes. There you are pups, making us worried for nothing. Yes, yes, missed you too. You about ready to leave?” he asked Julie. They had been there long enough for the sun to reach over the center of the sky and it was looking to be around one o’clock.

“We have been walking for a while. And I do melt if I’m in the sun for too long.” Julie dragged her feet behind her in the sand. Kicking piles with each step. She had started off with such big steps too, Nate noted.

“You hungry?” Nate asked her, more than aware that he was catching her off guard.

“Yes?”

“There’s a little cheesesteak place by the house, if you’re interested. By the market store.”

“I don’t know where that is. But, yeah. I’d love to eat right now. I skipped dinner and breakfast. When did I last eat? I think, I had lunch yesterday.” Julie scratched Margo behind the ears and smiled as she nodded. “Can we bring the good girl here?”

“Unfortunately, not. But I’ll bring her back some food though. She’ll understand. The people there were nice enough and made her a meat bowl the last time I was there. All I had to do really was just ask and show them a few pictures of her running around. I was going to bring her garlic fries but someone there said it was poisonous for dogs.”

“I didn’t know that!” Julie stated at him wide eyed. “Is it really poisonous for them?”

“I don’t know how true that is. But it’s why they don’t let dogs in. Just in case, I guess. So, we just need to drop her off before we head out that way, and then we can go. Want to follow me to the house and carpool over? That way you don’t have to look for the place.”

“Sounds good to me. I’ll meet you there.”

“Need the address?”

“Nope.” Julie grinned, she skipped over a clump of sand shaped to look like what could be assumed was a caste or a house the day before. “I took a picture of your address on some junk mail you had laying on the counter when I slept over.”

Nate tilted his head, “That’s both slick, and concerning…I wouldn’t have thought of that…”

“Now I can always find you,” Julie walked off towards her car, each step filled with a peppy bounce.

He stood there for a little while before sighing to himself and to Margo who was waiting expectantly, “Alright pup. Time to get carried off again like a doggy princess.”

Nate held the door open for Julie, and ended up holding it for someone else as they left the restaurant, and another couple, then a grumpy old man, all before Julie could go inside. After these person had each walked away, nodding their elderly thanks to Nate in passing, Julie curtsied and went inside. “Wow.”, she exclaimed in soft wonder, “This place is great. I love the big mural on the wall over there! How have I not been here already? This place is so busy too.”

“You don’t get out too much, do you?” Nate asked slowly, trying to make sure she could hear him clearly over the miscellaneous conversations bouncing around in the room. The other patrons talked and yelled so loudly that each word echoed or rather bounced off the bricked walls, giving the building an enlarged acoustic feeling of a much larger space than it truly was. The room felt both fuller and busier than it seemed with the growing commotion. Outside of Nate and Julie, there were only five other tables being occupied, with only two others being empty on either corner of the little brick room.

Julie simply nodded and looked a little confused, after he repeated his question a second time she laughed at him. “I really don’t get out much, no. Mostly I just work, go home, hangout with my roommate, and repeat the process. Not much of a social life outside of stocking and selling books. I’m pretty boring overall. A classic shut in,” she explained in succinct detail. “Only thing is that I don’t have any cats, yet.”

Nate started to tell her that he does the same thing, minus the roommate, and the going out at all. But he was cut off, because that was when the waitress came over with laminated menus and interrupted the muffled conversation.

“I don’t know, what to get…” Julie said, looking over the back side of the menu.

“They have a cheesesteak with garlic made right into it. That’s pretty good. I’m getting the loaded fries and that.” He pointed to something on the menu so that she could read it.

“Hmm, I might get the Italian cheesesteak thing. That sounds good too. And, maybe a milkshake. The banana milkshake sounds good. Or maybe, the strawberry one…”

“Why not both? Just ask them to mix it together.”, Nate suggested. “They’ll probably do it too. Shouldn’t be any trouble either.”

Julie nodded in agreement. “Capital idea, Watson! Capital indeed.”

When the waitress came back, they ordered and waited for their food, watching the other people who sat around them. A couple came in with a big giant beast of a dog. “Jesus. That’s a big dog. Julie, Julie, look. He’s huge.”

“Holy crap. What kind of dog is that? He’s so stinking cute.”

“Right? He looks like a small bear. I wanna say he’s a Saint Bernard. You know, the one’s with the barrels around their necks.”

“He looks like he left his at home, poor thing,” Julie noted. “Are they going to tell them they need to leave?”

“I don’t know, looks like they’re just picking up an order to go. Okay, that makes sense,” Nate shrugged. “Excited for the party coming up?”

Julie bobbed her head side to side, “Yes, no. Ashley usually has people over for parties a few times a month. So, I’m a bit indifferent about it for that reason alone. Not that it’ll be boring. She throws fun parties. I’m just tired of too many people, I think. They always leave a mess, the toilet looks awful each time, like a war crime happened on, in, and around it. And worst of all, the absolute worst thing about the parties is, you know what it is? Do you?”

Nate shook his head and leaned forward, giving her all of his attention.

“The worst thing, the literal worst thing-”, Julie threw her hands up in frustration, “They. Always. Find. My chips! Always! Without fail. I hide them in the stove. They check that. I hid a few bags in the washer. They find those. In the cabinet above the tv stand, you guessed it. I don’t get it, I really don’t. The people she invites turn into bloodhounds for potato chips when they drink. It makes no sense at all how or why they can always find them.”

Nate tried not to laugh, barely hiding a chuckle, “How about under your bed?”

Julie pointed at him and put another finger to her lips, “Shush. Get out of my head. And don’t tell anyone, or I won’t share them,” she glared with a finger still pointed forward in his face. “I mean it, mister. Don’t tell anyone. Or else!”

“Or what?” Nate ventured openly and without worry of retaliation with a sly smile creeping itself over his face. “Gonna eat all of my snacks in retribution?”

“I will now, especially since that I now know you have snacks. Any I find, I’ll share them with your pretty puppy dog too.”

Nate twisted his mouth and face together in utter terror. “Dear. God. No. Not my snacks. Margo would never do that to hurt me. Never. She’s a good girl. And a wonderful excuse for a puppydog.”

“Bet you she would,” Julie grinned.

“She’d probably sell my soul for some belly rubs and a pop-tart, to be honest,” Nate admitted. “But, to the matter at hand. Scouts honor and all that. I won’t tell anyone about your-”, he raised his voice on the last word, “snacks!”, some of the other patrons looked over, before he laughed and continued in a lower, more conversational tone for the still loud and echoing room, “I promise to not tell anyone. I promise, Julie. And I mean it.”

“You better.” She brushed hair out of her eyes, tucking it behind her ears and under her hat. “Or else!”

“I had a lovely time on our date.” Julie told Nate in the driveway. She was letting her car’s air conditioning run for a moment with the doors closed and unlocked, to cool off the inside before getting in. There was a bag of leftovers in her hand, her purse and drink in the other.

“Was it a date, now?”

“I’d say so. Even if you didn’t think it was. And I’m telling everybody.”

“Better not. Or I’ll eat your snacks.”

She took a step closer, raising herself on the tips of her toes to appear menacing. “You, better, not. We had a verbal contract on that. And I’ll see you in pinky promise court if you break it.”

Nate tilted his head and smiled awkwardly as he asked, “Can I kiss you?”

Julie froze and batted her eyes, “If you want.”

He kissed her after that. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Julie. Drive safe now.”

“Oh, I will, Romeo. Don’t forget now. The party is around two or three. So, you better be there before that, or I’ll be mad at you.”

“Better than being sad at me.”

“Don’t even start, mister. Now I’ll see you then. Don’t forget.”

“I won’t forget,” he promised her as he walked her to the car and got the door for her. “I’ll see you then.” He waved as her car drove her away, disappearing around the corner from the next stop sign.

When Nate went inside the house the phone rang, “Margo you going to get that for me?” The pup in question sat up and tilted her ears towards him. She looked so sleepy and confused; half her face was smushed from the blanket she had burrowed under. “I’m just kidding. Go back to sleep, pup. I’ve got it,” he picked up the phone’s receiver, “Hello, this is Nate.”

“Good evening this is the Chamberlin County Memorial Hospital, calling regarding a June Constance. I’m sorry, but I have some news regarding her insurance information…”

Monday evening, that had been when the hospital had called him. He couldn’t recall if it was around three or five when he had answered them. The rest of the night blurred out into a broken puddle of lost time after that phone call. They had told him, explaining away some sort of legal and medical jargon that equated, in his understanding, to his aunt’s insurance running out. And unfortunately, they would have to legally follow the doctor’s recommendations, and take her off of the ventilator. The only thing keeping her going since she had lost upper brain functions, and the lower had begun to give up as well.

Everything fell apart into a misty haze, Nate only remembered waking up the next day on the couch, he still had both of his shoes on. It had been a long time since he had woken up with his shoes on. Felt funny. Just a few years after high school while he was working overnights, he’d come home and collapse, fully dressed, into the nearest couch. That was a long, long time ago now, and so very far away. Everything in the world felt so far away now.

The silver stove’s red lettered display told him it was a quarter after four in the morning. Thought the lack of sunlight outside told him much of the same. Nate stumbled to the fridge and grabbed the milk, pouring himself a cold glass that frosted at his touch. The cabinet only had cups with depictions of old cartoon characters etched into the glass. Yesterday they were blank, plain old glass cups and mugs before. At least that’s what he remembered them as being. Everything felt jumbled and small when he tried to remember if they had always been what they were now.

Nate…just didn’t have it in him to care anymore. To hell with all of these little things, little moments and memories that shifted and remained changing around him. All of the minute details that broke apart and reassembled around him while he slept. He closed the cabinet, softly and with some measure of care. And took his cup outside with him, and watched the clouds drift past in the bright moon filled night. It was going to be a lovely day. Wither he wanted it to be or not. It would be lovely and bright, all the same.

John showed up at the house around eleven in the afternoon. “You alright?” was the first thing he asked when Nate opened the door.

“Yeah, why do you ask?” Nate rubbed at his face.

“You look awful. Have you been sleeping at all?”

Nate shrugged with indifference, “A little here and there. But, I’m okay. I think. Just tired is all.”

John scrutinized Nate with a calm, though thoughtful look, “Your eyes look awful, you’ve either been drinking, crying, or staying awake all night. My money is on the last one. Unless told otherwise.”

“Do they? I haven’t noticed.” Nate covered his mouth as he stretched and yawned.

John waved his hand dismissively to keep himself on track. “You’re still free tonight, right?”

“Yeah. Why? What’s going on?”

“The party?” John watched him, “Julie said she invited you, for tonight? It’s Tuesday. You sure you’re, okay? You really don’t look so hot.”

“I’m alright. Just, tired. That’s all. And yeah, I totally forgot. No, yeah, I’m still free tonight. What time are we doing that?”

“Around two to three is the time we’ve been telling people to show up. You mind going with me to pick up some things before that? It’s almost noon now.”

“Not at all,” Nate covered his mouth again to stifle back a yawn that was trying to escape to freedom. “Mind driving?”

John smirked, “Totally don’t. All I ever do is drag you out into daylight anyways. What’s a few more miles of driving between friends.”

Nate muttered a curse-word that John could just barely make out; it made him smile all the same.

Chapter Six

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